Sitting in the Weatherspoons

I’m sitting in the Weatherspoons waitin for me food
The waitress spills my gravy I try not to be rude
What is this creation this culinary abomination                  sittin on my plate awaiting decimation

Unidentified vegetables gather on me platter
An insipid tasteless colour chart & somethin dead in batter
The meat is like leather tough like floyd mayweather I still can’t put it down even after 12 rounds, of shots my eyes see double n I’m wobblin lots & sensin trouble

The judges are unanimous the liquid lunch the winner am pie eyed hammered toasted but I really miss me dinner
I stagger to the gents intent on micturition
But end up in a cubicle for food ejaculation

Smeared mirror pristine basin to check your hair n wash your face in
I reflect on my reflection with the opposite of affection I look demented & dejected ripe for psychiatric section

I head off to the light show 50p a spin
The bandits must be sleeping cuz I get a jackpot win
3 time repeater couldn’t be sweeter spittin out quids like a busted parkin meter 2 ton plus buzzed up coined up barman change dis for us

I feel like a king again full up with cha-ching again i head off to the exit door ain’t gonna spew my ring again

Still starving Hank Marvin but now I ain’t no Hagler I walk with a purpose I aint no straggler
Feel like I’m in a movie one of Johnny Depps or Brandos
Fuck you Wetherspoons I’m headin off to Nandos.