Conspiracy Theories and comedy podcasts are not something you would automatically put together, but Truman Caput is such a complete and utter nutter , you just can’t help listening to him babble on.
Never has so much bollocks been put forward as fact. Never has one man emitted this amount of bullshit.
What the video and see if you can make any sense of him!
CONSPIRACY THEORIST TRUMAN CAPUT LOOKS AT EVRYTHING FROM THE YELLOW SUBMARINE TO SOCKS, IN THIS EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW. Conspiracy theories are just dreams that escape from the minds of people who take too many drugs or don’t have a mind in the right state in the first place.is what I think. what do you think?
The Mental Health charity P.I.M.P. (Protecting Individuals with Mulitple Personalities) today unleashed its latest campaign to try & help blow away the stigma of mental illness, banish fear of madness from society & generally give the nutters a voice other than the usual mumbling to themselves sat behind you on the bus.
Charity co-ordinator Brian Damage spoke to the Daily Shite about his hopes for the sucess of the campaign, outlining the hard work put in by his workforce of diligent volunteers, and the importance of timing this high profile project just before government funding is allocated to them. We also got the feeling he had quite a bit of make-up on for the accompanying photoshoot.
Outlining the advantages of Befriending A Schizophrenic, Mr Damage listed some of the following plus points which he hopes will spur people into joining up, buying an overpriced badge, donating generously to his website & generally mithering the shit out of their mates to sign up on Facebook so they look like concerned citizens.
“People are scared of intelligence. And dogs. And unpredictability. Imagine someone who is all these things, very intelligent, massively irrational & unpredictable, and probably barks like a dog at full moons. Times that by 5, all happening in one head, and its no wonder schizophrenics get such a bad press. It doesn’t help when they slaughter their care worker because she is stealing their thoughts with her oversized fake Louis Vuitton handbag which must obviously contain covert scientific brain equipment. Well, I’m here to paint a brighter, less judgemental, (no pun intended, well, a little one) picture of the crazy people who dwell amongst the rest of us normal folk.
”A schizophrenic is a friend for life, their dedication knows no bounds. They will think nothing of ringing you at 4.30am to tell you how much they love you, and could they nip over & borrow half a roll of tinfoil til giro day.
”A schizophrenic friend will save you a fortune! Party invites? 5 guests, 1 gift! You dont even have to risk mingling them with your normal friends, they’ll be more than happy in the kitchen explaining metaphysics to the plastic canary
”A schizophrenic friend can even be the buffer for your darker days. Ring them up, shout, swear & unload all your crap on them, then next time you meet (in a busy, public place obviously), deny everything and suggest they go back to their shrink because their medication might be too weak
SUPPORT MENTAL ILLNESS IN YOUR AREA
”All in all, I would urge anyone, everyone, big, small, young, old, man, woman or thai bride to join the campaign, we have a very advanced website where you can bid for the ‘Schizofriend.com’ (trademark pending) of your choice based on sex, age, location & potential danger level. We accept Paypal, as long as you accept Madpal. Spread the word, its the 21st century, and as my great great grandma Crazy Irene used to say to me ‘You never know when you might need a psycho to save your life’. After her husband throttled her to death because his tea was too warm, those words seemed a little less wise, BUT, they always stuck with me & have become the soundbite of our campaign. Right, should I go & get changed for the photos?”
IT REALLY IS NICE TO KNOW YOU LIKE WHAT WE ARE PUTTING UP.
Last month I wrote a witty one-liner; it referenced a high profile news story at the time and was unique. I told a couple of my friends who thought it was really funny, so I posted it on Twitter. 4 days later, whilst watching a very popular comedy news programme on mainstream television, I saw my joke being repeated verbatim by a well known comedian. Was I seething? Was I flying to my laptop to track down this disgraceful rapscallions’ website so I could harangue him mercilessly? Was I contacting my shady friends from the local underworld so they could go around, have a quiet word & get my joke back for me? Erm, no. I sat for a moment, sipped my tea gently, like a guru from the Orient (not Leyton) with all the mystical calm that comes with deep understanding, and smiled to myself. In my mind, I was certain of something. Whether or not my original joke had been ‘utilized’ (plagiarised is such an accusatory and tasteless word) or the comedian in question had merely arrived at the same cerebral place as I independently, it meant that the humour that was emitting from my weird and sometimes wonderful, sometimes ‘blunderful’ brain was deemed fit for the masses.With the advent of the internet, digital time stamping, intellectual property and the like, many people have become more than a little obsessed with who wrote what first. As if it was a crime for somebody to come up with the same idea at a later date. I pride myself on trying to be original, surreal, fresh & inventive when it comes to writing comedy. Jokes – especially one-liners – have been something I decided to try my hand at recently. I penned over 250 jokes in 2 months on a famous website, only to find that 15 were deemed duplicates that had previously appeared there. The tenet ‘great minds think alike’ or ‘idiocy loves company’ sprang to my surprised mind. I remember the furore over Bill Hicks’ material being ripped off by Dennis Leary, who has gone on to make a very successful career. Hicks is remembered fondly for his originality and style, and yes, it appears Leary copied a good part of his act for a while. Hicks died 17 years ago, Leary is now a popular movie figure, seemingly continuing to be successful after his main source of material had passed on.I reserve judgement, but it portrays a strange change in the lifespan of a joke. When I was a teenager in the early 1980s, all jokes were heard in the playground, the pub, at the match or in the young offenders unit. You heard a good one, you passed it on. Many originated in the comedy club scene: Bernard Manning, Chubby Brown, Jimmy Jones etc. or from television, Ben Elton, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Dave Allen etc. People relayed them to share the humour, to have a common ground, a point of reference, or just to give the lads a good laugh in the vault on a Saturday night. Nowadays it appears to be about separatism, ownership, a competitive need to be the first to get the text joke out to all your mates. Humour has become competitive. Stand ups like Gary Delaney are accused of stealing from websites; he is counter-accusing website users of stealing his material. Did a joke originate with Tim Vine? Or was it one of Tommy Cooper’s? Does it really matter? We’ve reluctantly put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional – it’s only a small observation of society’s changing ways, but it definitely highlights the way technology has increased paranoia & selfishness in the 21st century. As the baby goat said to me, “I kid, you not”.
Once upon a time I went on a journey to a place far, far away……… Further than any of my friends and family had ever been, in fact further than anyone had been, ever.
Further than rockets, space craft, satellites and deep space probes.
Beyond the range modern interstellar telescopes.
Beyond even the imagination of George Lucas, Arthur C. Clarke & H.G. Wells.
Surpassing even the reverential limits of God’s boundaries.
It was a terrifying place.
Pursued by demons that had an almost psychic knowledge of my every movement, before even I had decided on a plan of action,I found myself where I thought would be the only safe haven from earthly emotional pain i.e Outside the Universe.
It seemed as good a place as any to gather my fragmented thoughts.
Unbound by the shackles of scientific possibility and powered by the sincerity of psychotic insanity, it wasn’t difficult to get there, and traffic was extremely light.
It’s always the return journey that’s beset with problems.
Without any physical luggage to lose, I felt the extra burden of emotional baggage weighing much too heavily on my mind. As I floated in the hinterland between post-universe and the psychiatrists synthetic cocktail of compliance, a question burst into my mind, like a child into a parents bedroom on Xmas morning.
‘Who’s mind is it anyway?’
I’d been using (well abusing) that mind all my life and had, like everyone else, assumed ownership. (Obviously some people went a stage further and began assuming ownership of land, resources and other humans) but that’s another sad, ongoing tale.
Eventually it came to pass that my marbles had been misplaced. I wasn’t part of the mechanism of society, that runs so smoothly to enable fairness and equality for…well not all… well not even most.
OK I was a mental case! I still am and have come to the conclusion that the combination on my particular case is irreversibly broken.
Fast forward many moons, a myriad of psychiatrists, a million counsellors, a billion brainstorms and a mountain of medication and I’m cured!
Well almost…well, nearly…. well some days, for a short while.
In the words of the song “I am what I am!” but with the dubious bonus of being also partly what I am not. Confused yet? Imagine how it must be seeing it from the inside!
Anyway, you encounter places, ideas and people in your life and travels, which have far reaching long lasting effects. Sometimes they sneak in gently and quietly like a child returning to bed after hiding behind the curtain on Santa watch. Other times they flap wildly in your face and shout the roof off for your attention. Generally we focus too much on the noise and chaos, so we miss the subtle undertones shaping our destiny in the background.
So now when I look around to find a catalogue of ;writing, comedy, performances, videos, a website and a growing stock of diverse and interesting music, I am very proud, I give myself a gentle, cautious pat on the back while wondering how the hell it all happened.
More and more people are suffering mental illness, trauma and depression caused by the stress of modern life and our collective inability to adapt quickly to the sweeping changes taking place in technology, economy, ecology and humanity.
Mental pain is still a taboo subject, slowly being dragged reluctantly from the darkness, mainly by celebrities with a recovery book or a new range of empirical clothing to sell.
We have indeed advanced from the dark ages of hiding the lunatics in asylums designed to maximize isolation and instill the fear of madness into the masses.
We still think that passing high doses of electrical charge through a vulnerable brain is ethical. I have enough anecdotal evidence to strongly suggest that it is not in any way a cure and firmly believe it belongs in the realms of torture and cruelty toward those already tortured souls who we still fail to understand.
I write these thoughts as an addendum to the lyrics in my ‘requiem’ to the schizoid brain that I have harboured in my, sometimes unwilling head, all my life.
I’m sure it will strike a chord with many sufferers of similar debilitating psychoses, but also hope it can paint a clearer picture for those who are fortunately blessed with a healthy mind. Maybe they will garner a little more understanding of this complex yet frightening illness.
A philosopher type once opined;
“The mind is like an umbrella. It works best when fully open”.
If yours hasn’t been blown inside out during a previous storm, please enjoy my offering from a dry sheltered place.
To anyone who would like to discuss this subject further, please feel free to mail me at infoburybob@gmail.com or visit burybob.com
About a year ago I returned to the UK to try and ”get back to my roots” after living in Canada, Spain and Denmark over a period of 15 years.
My goal was to gather together a bunch of talented people I had known for years and get some kind of coop together. People from different disciplines working together to create material that was as far away from the tired BBC, ITV mainstream as possible. My theory was ”If I’m sick of this crap”, there must be a large number of people out there who are thinking the same and with the internet it’s just a matter of finding those people.
I got in touch with the guy I’d met in Spain and we began to meet once a week at my flat ‘ up int thills’ above Manchester,UK. He was an ex ”olic’ , that is, if you could abuse it he’d taken it and he also suffered from schizophrenia – not the best choice of a business partner, you might think – but we found that we clicked on many levels and began to work on a project to take into the schools around Salford to use his experiences to warn kids from rougher areas about the consequences of substance abuse.
He had always had the nick name of bury bobz so we decided to take the z off and make it Bury Bob and build the character around that. One afternoon I said ”Right lets try something different”
We set the camera rolling….my little 5 year old Panasonic camcorder – turned down the lights and started talking. Very quickly Bob appeared. An opinionated scally Manchester bloke with a very warped, but very funny view of the world. I sat behind the camera and watched in amazement as …the one who shall henceforth be known as Bury bob…came to life,
Over the next 3 months we had more of these sessions and uploaded them to You Tube and slowly but surely other characters began to appear from Bob’s schizophrenic, from Terry Bull. q list confidant to the stars,well asteroids, to Snood P Whipper Salford’s urban warrior poet, rapper and general bad boy subversive. We even have a cannibal chef called Canny Kenny Bull ,Terry’s cousin.
Bob built a very strange and very orange website and over the following months developed a place where he could let us share his warped imagination and uniquely funny veiw of the world we live in.
We wanted to get to all those people who are sick of Saturday night pap and have an interactive site where people could send in questions for Bob and then film his responses. It would be an interesting experiment in interactive internet improv comedy. (Try saying that after a few smokes…I mean pints)
We built up Bob’s back story and sketched out a family history so we could begin to involve other people, which was my original plan.
We intend to carry on working as a small tight knit group doing stuff that makes us laugh and having a bit of fun. Eventually we will be doing a full podcast with all the characters turning up and involving a larger group of friends and colleagues, but first we have to make a little money and we are relying on advertisers and donations for that as we would like to keep the site as free as possible for our users who need a laugh, because they don’t have any money or a job or a….don’t let me go there, I don’t want to have a rant.
We are also looking to help local good causes and I recently met a wonderful inspiring man called David Feldman from The Princes Trust group of charities and am hoping to be able to help in their goal to make Burnley rise from the ashes of despair and become the guiding light for inner city regeneration in the 21st century. They are doing wonderful things there in a very practical way.
So you guys , our aims are modest…to bring a little sunshine and laughter into people’s lives in these dark times.
So if you like the sound of Bury Bob and would like to have a private chuckle check out the website and register with us so we can keep you informed and find out what is important in your world.
Just as a footnote we have also done several tunes that might be of interest, one of which is currently in the top 50 at revernation.com an online indie music chart. Your votes would be appreciated there a we would love to get to number one. The song is called Only on F in Salford featuring Snood P Whipper
My name is Ian Jameson …henceforth known as
Uncle Joe Bloggs
Love and peace and all that shit! http://www.burybob.com/
About a year ago I returned to the UK to try and ”get back to my roots” after living in Canada, Spain and Denmark over a period of 15 years.
My goal was to gather together a bunch of talented people I had known for years and get some kind of coop together. People from different disciplines working together to create material that was as far away from the tired BBC, ITV mainstream as possible. My theory was ”If I’m sick of this crap”, there must be a large number of people out there who are thinking the same and with the internet it’s just a matter of finding those people.
I got in touch with the guy I’d met in Spain and we began to meet once a week at my flat ‘ up int thills’ above Manchester,UK. He was an ex ”olic’ , that is, if you could abuse it he’d taken it and he also suffered from schizophrenia – not the best choice of a business partner, you might think – but we found that we clicked on many levels and began to work on a project to take into the schools around Salford to use his experiences to warn kids from rougher areas about the consequences of substance abuse.
He had always had the nick name of bury bobz so we decided to take the z off and make it Bury Bob and build the character around that. One afternoon I said ”Right lets try something different”
We set the camera rolling….my little 5 year old Panasonic camcorder – turned down the lights and started talking. Very quickly Bob appeared. An opinionated scally Manchester bloke with a very warped, but very funny view of the world. I sat behind the camera and watched in amazement as …the one who shall henceforth be known as Bury bob…came to life,
Over the next 3 months we had more of these sessions and uploaded them to You Tube and slowly but surely other characters began to appear from Bob’s schizophrenic, from Terry Bull. q list confidant to the stars,well asteroids, to Snood P Whipper Salford’s urban warrior poet, rapper and general bad boy subversive. We even have a cannibal chef called Canny Kenny Bull ,Terry’s cousin.
Bob built a very strange and very orange website and over the following months developed a place where he could let us share his warped imagination and uniquely funny veiw of the world we live in.
We wanted to get to all those people who are sick of Saturday night pap and have an interactive site where people could send in questions for Bob and then film his responses. It would be an interesting experiment in interactive internet improv comedy. (Try saying that after a few smokes…I mean pints)
We built up Bob’s back story and sketched out a family history so we could begin to involve other people, which was my original plan.
We intend to carry on working as a small tight knit group doing stuff that makes us laugh and having a bit of fun. Eventually we will be doing a full podcast with all the characters turning up and involving a larger group of friends and colleagues, but first we have to make a little money and we are relying on advertisers and donations for that as we would like to keep the site as free as possible for our users who need a laugh, because they don’t have any money or a job or a….don’t let me go there, I don’t want to have a rant.
We are also looking to help local good causes and I recently met a wonderful inspiring man called David Feldman from The Princes Trust group of charities and am hoping to be able to help in their goal to make Burnley rise from the ashes of despair and become the guiding light for inner city regeneration in the 21st century. They are doing wonderful things there in a very practical way.
So you guys , our aims are modest…to bring a little sunshine and laughter into people’s lives in these dark times.
So if you like the sound of Bury Bob and would like to have a private chuckle check out the website and register with us so we can keep you informed and find out what is important in your world.
Just as a footnote we have also done several tunes that might be of interest, one of which is currently in the top 50 at revernation.com an online indie music chart. Your votes would be appreciated there a we would love to get to number one. The song is called Only on F in Salford featuring Snood P Whipper
My name is Ian Jameson …henceforth known as
Uncle Joe Bloggs
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When I was young people judged how ‘long in the tooth’ they were getting, by measuring themselves against how young policemen looked.
These days you don’t see many policemen on the beat so I’ve started using a different criteria….
stand up comedians.
I don’t remember in the early days of alternative comedy anybody talking about their mother, other than in how she had been a suffocating influence in their lives.
The other night I was watching some guy…don’t ask me his name they all look the same to me….and he was talking about how his mum was having trouble with understanding a computer….really radical I thought and switched off.
One of the few shining lights in the darkness is Lee Nelson who shows us how to work a crowd, be cheeky, get a couple of subliminal messages across and leave. A real pro who has obviously paid his dues in lots of different venues and appeals to all ages and races apparently.
Unfortunately, the rest of the comedy scene in the UK seems to be bereft of original talent.
Soon Manchester youtube funny man Bury Bob will be taking his internet comedy into the live comedy club environment. He has been working hard on the act trying to find an mood that is both original and approachable. Expect to see him out there in the Manchester comedy clubs in September 2011.
In the meantime he has released his latest video ”Granddad’s Sausage”
and it’s causing a bit of a stir… check it out here
Manchester comedian Bury Bob at burybob.com 
