VISIT WWW.BURYBOB.COM

Bury Bob’s Joke Book get your FREE copy here

Bury Bob’s Sick and Silly Joke Book

To collect your FREE copy of

Bury Bob’s Great New Joke Book

CLICK HERE

Over the passed year Bob has been writing jokes constantly and recently started a facebook page called The Joke Bloke which has developed a steadily growing following.

We have estimated that he has written around 1000 jokes, so we decided it was time to start collecting them and putting them in a format that his many fans can enjoy.

I am bob’s uncle Joe Bloggs and I edited and collated the book and I will be putting together more over the coming months. So watch this space.

We hope you enjoy them and visit our website regularly www.burybob.com to keep in touch with the new characters and videos .

Facebook or Fleecebook. Is this the way we want to communicate?

Facebook or Fleecebook.

Is this the way we want to communicate?

‘Meet the sheep of your dreams today’ as one of my many taglines proclaims.

Facebook is scary. It has rapidly become (along with Twatter) the most popular form of communication worldwide today.

It is the easiest way to analyse on a massive scale an insight into the human condition, or collective psyche. This is where it becomes scarier.

A massive amount of users are illiterate, violent, racist, boring, suicidal, dishonest, insane, abusive, terrible photographers, addicted to pouting, morally inept, vain, alcoholic, drug abusing, sexually inadequate, perverse, obese, ugly, sad, disillusioned, unhappy & hate themselves.

The scariest part? These are just the people on our friends list.

Don’t forget to check out Bury Bob’s many videos at www.burybob.com

GRAFFITI

‘Banksy’, the spray paint hero of many a middle class twat, has created a grey area in the graffiti world.

From someone misspelling ‘Gaz woz ere’ on the side of a primary school he was expelled from, to some of the delirious colourful ‘artwork that graces subways & railway bridges;

It appears that graffiti is the Marmite of public atistic expression.

Maybe, if graffiti artists brought a little invention to their endeavours, we could make seasonal graffiti more popular.

For example, grafittiers living in Yorkshire could sabotage motorway signs during Halloween so that town names became BLeeds,

SHuddersfield, SKHull etc.

bleeds

I’m sure the local authorities would

appreciate the cultural input

HALLOWEEN – THE MEDICATED MUSINGS OF BURY BOB

HALLOWEEN

Costumed freaks begging door to door has become almost as big a fake celebratory occasion as Bonfire night & Valentines day.

But enough about Jehovah’s witnesses.

SCARING OLD PEOPLE HAS A LEGAL EXEMPTION ON HALLOWEEN.

KIDS CAN CLAIM THAT STALKING PENSIONERS FROM THE POST OFFICE IS MERELY A FRIENDLY TRICK, WHEREAS THE STEALING OF THE PURSE IN A QUIET PARK IS THEIR TREAT.

ANY OFFENDERS CAUGHT SHOULD HAVE THEIR FACES CARVED LIKE PUMPKINS SO SOCIETY CAN EASILY IDENTIFY THEM AS HALLOWEEN CRIMINALS.

HOG ROAST

WHAT A PITY!

CHECK OUT BURY BOB’S WEBSITE HERE

Politics and Education abolish the lot!

Bury Bob’s Medicated Musings

As I sit in my mental haze filled funk the rest of us call life, sometimes the important issues surrounding society permeate my protective fog of apathy.

So I’m gonna let you in on how the mad mind sees sensible solutions to society’s situations.

EDUCATION

Stop this immediately. Kids at home are beautiful young things that giggle & look cute with faces full of chocolate cream & hope.

School introduces then to smoking, alcohol, drugs, wagging off (bunking off for our Southern friends), sexually charged situations whilst still legally underage, peer pressure, conformity, incarceration & parents evening.

POLITICS
Mystifying, stupefying decisions expounded daily from a large fairy tale castle frequented by those who have been privileged enough never to have to inhabit the world they govern.
They wage war on nations they’ve been funding with charity donations for years, they spend billions on weapons we can never dare use, they go through rent boys & prostitutes like beavers go through toothbrushes, and they create the illusion of choice by threatening us with referendums.

We do get one day off every four years when they hijack schools to become polling stations. If we followed my previous plan of abolishing education, we could have daily elections, which may well kill Peter Snow & his swingometer. Never a bad thing.

(Tune in next time for the next chapter of MedOp by Burybob)

Don’t forget to check out my videos at www.burybob.com

Sitting in the Weatherspoons

I’m sitting in the Weatherspoons waitin for me food
The waitress spills my gravy I try not to be rude
What is this creation this culinary abomination sittin on my plate awaiting decimation

Unidentified vegetables gather on me platter
An insipid tasteless colour chart & somethin dead in batter
The meat is like leather tough like floyd mayweather I still can’t put it down even after 12 rounds, of shots my eyes see double n I’m wobblin lots & sensin trouble

The judges are unanimous the liquid lunch the winner am pie eyed hammered toasted but I really miss me dinner
I stagger to the gents intent on micturition
But end up in a cubicle for food ejaculation

Smeared mirror pristine basin to check your hair n wash your face in
I reflect on my reflection with the opposite of affection I look demented & dejected ripe for psychiatric section

I head off to the light show 50p a spin
The bandits must be sleeping cuz I get a jackpot win
3 time repeater couldn’t be sweeter spittin out quids like a busted parkin meter 2 ton plus buzzed up coined up barman change dis for us

I feel like a king again full up with cha-ching again i head off to the exit door ain’t gonna spew my ring again

Still starving Hank Marvin but now I ain’t no Hagler I walk with a purpose I aint no straggler
Feel like I’m in a movie one of Johnny Depps or Brandos
Fuck you Wetherspoons I’m headin off to Nandos.

There’s only one F in Salford, a testament to his home town.

There’s only one F in Salford,

Heartbeat of a city, dyin’ on its arse
Chokin’ on fumes from the burnt out cars

Urban jungle cryin’, decay walks every street
People give up tryin’, hardened like concrete

Home is the castle, a council house of cards
Neighbourhood hassle, no room for wimps n mards

Hopeless-Helpless-Careless-Flightless
Homeless-Useless-Loveless-Lifeless

Crime is the currency, no value in pity
Survival of the coldest is the law of the city

No time for remorse, compassion or sorrow
Its Apocalypse now, then same time tomorrow

The predators stalk, every morning noon & nighttime

Theres only one F in Salford, and thats on borrowed time

In Salford, concrete slum where nightmares are made
In the city, City of Salford, be afraid
In the city, City of Salford, be afraid
In the city, City of Salford, be afraid

Terry bull talks about his goals for the Obese Olympics and Cannibals in Cognito.

Obese Olympics Ligacy from Ian Jameson on Vimeo.

terry Bull is a simple soul….well to be honest he is lots of things to lots of different people. Robbing little toerag was one of them. but despite his short falls Tery has a devout following among the down tradden wretched of Moses Gate in Bolton.

his latest scheme to bring the prestigious event to this urban backwater has raised hopes in the community of a revival of those heady days when “Bolton Wonderers” were king.

kenny bull from Ian Jameson on Vimeo.

Canny Kenny Bull, cousin of Terry, shares his cannibal sectrets. the best cuts and where to get them.

New York, New York. So good they named it!

Moving to New York after a painful divorce was always going to be crazy.

Waking up for the first time in the city that never sleeps was an eye opener.

I was on top of the world in my Manhattan skyscraper, It truly felt like the city of 10,000,000 storeys.

After a while, things settled down. Work was going well, was making friends and finding adventures in the concrete jungle.

Except my heart was lonely.

Eventually I placed an ad in the New York Times, hoping to find love. The Big Apple of my eye. The message arrived Sunday. By Tuesday we’d become friendly via private chat. By Friday I’d started thinking about her constantly.

She sounded perfect. I couldn’t wait any longer and asked to meet. I walked in the coffee shop for our first date and was flabbergasted to see it was none other than my ex-wife.

Flesh Eating Bug was really ‘very sneaky cannibal’ probably Rumanian

Miss Romero on Karaoke in Broadmoor.
A not-so-Fine Young Cannibal.

An unnamed man from Nuneaton was speaking about the shock discovery that he was very slowly being eaten by his next door neighbour, Georgia Romero, a hospital anaesthetist, part-time wine-maker and head of the local Chianti society.

The revelations came to light after 6 months, when constant bits and pieces missing from his body, including an earlobe, 3 toes, 2 semi-important fingers and even some excess foreskin, all of which were attributed to necrotising fasciitis by baffled, overworked NHS GPs, were in fact discovered to be the cannibalistic work of crazed, (yet admittedly helpful with shopping, minor repairs etc) Ms Romero.

“Yesterday, I woke up feeling really groggy, as I have done sporadically over the last few months, strangely after my neighbour insisted on giving me a diabetes aversion injection. I felt something nibbling at my left eyelid, thought it was a butterfly or moth, but as I regained full conscious clarity, I realised the neighbour was gently feeding on my face. I suppose my suspicions should have been aroused when she started asking me to bathe in Kraft light French dressing, claiming it was a perfect remedy for tough skin”.

Ms Romero was taken into psychiatric care for evaluation, but experts revealed that she is very probably off her fucking nut.

Kenny Bull, spokesperson for th Assoc of British Cannibals said”This kind of irresponsible behaviour that gets cannibals a bad name”

Conspiracy Theories or just some nut-case babbling? You decide.

Conspiracy Theories

Conspiracy Theories and comedy podcasts are not something you would automatically put together, but Truman Caput is such a complete and utter nutter , you just can’t help listening to him babble on.

Never has so much bollocks been put forward as fact. Never has one man emitted this amount of bullshit.

What the video and see if you can make any sense of him!

CONSPIRACY THEORIST TRUMAN CAPUT LOOKS AT EVRYTHING FROM THE YELLOW SUBMARINE TO SOCKS, IN THIS EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW. Conspiracy theories are just dreams that escape from the minds of people who take too many drugs or don’t have a mind in the right state in the first place.is what I think. what do you think?